


Don't Toy With Me

by zombiechick



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-01-11 11:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiechick/pseuds/zombiechick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Strange occurrences at a vintage toy convention lead to a full investigation by the entire Warehouse team. Must give shout out to my beta abbysiuta; she fixes all my commas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Claudia walked through the B&B, her eyes studiously trained on a small object, made of wood and brass, that she held in her hands. Fingers working quickly, sliding over panels and replacing small pieces, a triumphant smile lit her face and she crowed with delight while throwing a fist in the air shouting, “Yes!”

Pete walked up behind her and, spying the peculiar object she held, reached out and snatched it from Claudia's grasp. “What the heck is this?” he asked trying to figure what the function of such an object could be.

Claudia tried to take the artifact back from him but Pete easily kept her at arms length. “Give that back,” she growled.

“I just wanna see it,” he explained sounding like a typical big brother. “Since when is Artie giving out toys?” he asked, closely examining the device and furrowing his brow at the markings.

At that moment Artie walked by and, plucking the instrument from his paws, returned it to Claudia. “Since I asked Claudia to see if she could fix it,” he explained. “And, it's not a toy, it's a highly complicated puzzle, made in the 16th century by Claus, a brilliant mathematician.” He looked at the artifact over Claudia's shoulder, “Looks like you got it working again,” he observed and patted her lightly on the arm, “nice job.”

Claudia beamed at Artie and then turned to Pete and stuck out her tongue.

Artie raised his voice so that Myka could hear him upstairs, “Let's get going, we need to talk about the next case.”

A few minutes later found all four of them gathered around the small table in the parlor. Artie sat with several folders in front of him, arranging information. Claudia continued to idly play with the Claus artifact while waiting for Artie to begin. “Alright, so we've uh, we've got a case of several stolen objects.”

“Unusual objects?” Myka asked as she sipped her coffee.

“Like something from a museum?” Claudia wondered.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Artie said politely waving aside their questions, “they're toys.”

Pete raised one eyebrow, “What, like thefts taking place at a daycare?” He laughed, “We've got ourselves a little evil genius?”

Artie shot him a glare, “Actually, these are thefts taking place at a vintage toy convention.”

Both Pete's and Claudia's eyes widened in delight and they pounded fists, their earlier squabble forgotten.

Myka rolled her eyes, “So what's the situation exactly; what makes it so strange? I mean this sort of thing must happen with some frequency when collectible are involved.”

“True, true,” Artie agreed with her, “the strangeness is that all the sellers swear that the conventioneers who had purchased the items earlier were the very persons who came to claim the objects later.”

Myka's brow furrowed, “Mass hypnosis maybe?”

“Or identity theft?” Claudia offered.

“Or maybe the problem is,” Pete grinned, “all those nerds look alike.” He laughed loudly at his own joke until a further glare from Artie shut him up.

“Whatever it is,” Artie continued, “it's strange enough to warrant our attention. This is uh, Steel City Con; biggest toy convention in the nation. So,” Artie began with obvious dread in his voice, “we'll all be going.”

“Road trip!” Claudia crowed.


	2. Chapter Two

While Artie and Myka paid for their admission, Pete and Claudia people watched. Claudia turned to see Pete tracking a column of, at least 60, storm troopers. “I just,” his mouth widened in shock, “there’s uh, so many of them. Where do they…or why do they,” he turned to Claudia for answers.

Claudia gave him an offended look, “How the heck should I know?” she asked. “Whaddya think I have a Princess Leia gold bikini hidden in my underwear drawer?”

Artie and Myka chose that time to return. “You have what?” Artie asked and then held up his hand, “No, uh, no don’t tell me. Here have some tickets.” He thrust flyers, goody bags and admission passes to all of them still shaking his head incredulously.

Myka handed everyone a cell phone, “We can’t all be seen using Farnsworths,” she explained, “so we’ll keep in contact with these.”

Claudia wrinkled her nose slightly, “How twentieth century of us,” she commented. “Ooh,” she hooted, “I get to check out the Thundercats Symposium!”   
Pete’s eyes went wide as he read his own admission ticket, “They have the first prototype for Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots here?”

Myka smiled, “And I’ll be attending the Barbie Retrospective.”

“Well,” Artie muttered, “figured I’d let you all have some fun while you’re here. But,” he held up his hand, “be..”

“Careful,” Claudia finished, cutting Artie off.

“And,” Artie started again with a small glare thrown at Claudia, “keep,”

“In contact,” Pete finished for him. 

Artie squinted, “I see you’ll both be right at home surrounded by children’s toys. Now Claudia you’re talking to this guy,” he handed her a piece of paper with a name and booth number written on it, “and Pete and Mykah, here are your contacts.”

“We’ll meet in the hotel restaurant at one o’clock sharp,” Myka stated glancing at her watch. 

++++++++++  
Being interested in science, history, and mechanics meant Claudia had met her fair share of nerds. It also meant she had gotten pretty good at fending off their occasional clumsy advances. However, when she entered her assigned symposium, it only took her a few seconds to realize she was the only female there. ‘Ugh,’ she thought to herself as she felt several sets of eyes swivel her way, “so not in the mood for this.”

She checked the booth information once again before heading to her destination. She tried her best to look business like hoping to avoid unwanted conversations with the myriad of conventioneers. Arriving at table 225, she noticed that the proprietor wasn't much older than her; twenty-five at the most, but he had an impressive array of memorabilia. His name tag read, “Hello my name is Mike.”

She was inspecting a particularly cool Lion-O t-shirt when she felt someone bump her shoulder. She glanced up and realized her mistake a second too late when a tall, lean, dark-haired, young man sporting a t-shirt that read “Iguana Go to the San Diego Zoo” winked at her in what Claudia guessed was his version of lascivious. She sighed inwardly and gave him a smile that she thought wasn't encouraging; unfortunately, she was wrong. “Hey there, red,” he said oozing nerdy charm.

“Uh, hi,” Claudia mumbled and tried to attract the attention of the proprietor.

Iguanaman, as Claudia called him, sidled closer and said, “You here alone?”

Claudia felt her hackles rise but reminded herself that she was supposed to be undercover and the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint Artie by causing a scene. “Nope,” she said with false confidence.

Iguanaman looked around her pointedly, “Is your man wearing an invisibility cloak?” he asked and then snorted at his own joke.

Claudia rolled her eyes, “He's, uh, checking out the Hot Wheels displays,” she said quickly and once again tried to signal the proprietor.

“If you were my woman,” Iguanaman said in his best version of a husky whisper, “I wouldn't let you out of my sight.”

“Wow,” Claudia said wryly, “how very romantic of you; not chauvinistic at all.” 

Mike, who wore a button that read “Campus Crusade for Cthulhu: It found me!” finally reacted to Claudia's signals. “Can I help you?” he asked.

“I'm looking for a Wilykit and Wilykat lunchbox.” 

“Hold on, I'll check.”

Claudia did her best to sound casual when she said, “So, I heard something was stolen from you.”

The young man scoffed, “Not just 'something',” he explained, “it was the model for the Sword of Omens used by the artists while drawing the Thundercats movie!”

“Oh,” Claudia conceded while simultaneously moving a little farther away from Iguanaman who was waggling his eyebrows at her. “Did you see the guy who did it?”

“Yep,” was the clipped reply while Mike continued to rummage through boxes.

“What did he look like?” Claudia asked while flipping through some comic books.

“It's like I told security, he looked exactly like the guy who bought the model. Only he swears up and down that he wasn't the one who picked it up.” He shrugged, “I don't know what happened.”

Iguanaman laughed, “Maybe it's some evil genius disguising himself as mild-mannered toy enthusiasts in order to collect all the good stuff for himself.” Mike joined in his laughter and Claudia turned to leave frustrated at the dead end.

She hadn't gotten more than a few feet away before she felt someone lightly grab her elbow, “Hey, Red,” Iguanaman oozed, “how about you let me buy you a soda?”

Claudia was seriously considering using the Tesla she had hidden in her satchel when a familiar voice saying her name had her practically jumping for joy. She pulled herself from the grasp of the annoying conventioneer and threw her arms around Artie's neck, “Help me out, Artie,” she whispered in his ear before kissing him soundly. “Honey, I thought I'd lost you,” she said a little louder.

Artie looked over her shoulder to see the men huddled around Mike's table staring open mouthed. He gave them a smug smile and wrapped his arms around Claudia's waist, “Sorry, just lost track of time I guess.”

Claudia kissed him again and then let go but stayed in his embrace, “Let's get some lunch.” Artie pulled her to him and turned back toward the cafeteria.

Iguanaman picked his chin up off the ground and turned to Mike, “What's up with that?” he whined.

Mike shrugged, “She's one of those chicks that's into older guys.”

Iguanaman groaned as he watched Claudia walk away in her skin tight purple jeans, “Wish I had a time machine.”

Mike gave him a disbelieving look and, shaking his head, turned back to his customers.


	3. Chapter Three

Myka ran into Pete shortly before they were supposed to meet for lunch. He walked up to her, grinning madly, and waiting for a response to his appearance. “Notice anything?” he asked while turning his head first left then right.

“Uh, yeah,” Myka said disbelievingly, “you let someone paint a design on your face.”

“It’s not just a design,” Pete explained, “it’s the Decepticon insignia.”

Myka gave him a blank stare, “Uh, okay.”

“You know,” Pete said frustrated, “the Decepticons, from Transformers?”

“Oh,” Myka stated, “but aren’t those the bad guys?”

“Well, yeah,” Pete reasoned, “but they’re the coolest. What’d you see?”

Mykah smiled, “I actually saw the 1968 Brad and Christie dolls,” she told him enthusiastically.

“Okay,” Pete smirked, “so big fun all around.”

Myka smacked him lightly on the arm and then turned to head toward the dining room, colliding with a rather large conventioneer, “Oh, excuse me.”

The man turned and gave her a wide, and slightly predatory, smile, “Best accident ever,” he quipped. “Hey, Baby,” he continued while leering at Myka, “what are you doing for lunch?”

“Uh,” Myka stumbled, taking in his ponytail and badly kept goatee, “I have plans,” she assured him giving a dismissive smile.

He looked past Myka and shifted the overflowing bag of comic books he held from one hand to the other. “With the Ken doll?” he asked while pointing a chubby thumb at Pete.

Myka couldn’t help but laugh although Pete looked slightly red in the face, “Ken doll?”

“That’s right, Hair Helmet,” he answered.

Myka looked straight at the man who she’d instantly started thinking of as Comic Book Guy, “Not interested; come on, Pete.” She walked around him, closely followed by Pete who was doing his best to remain calm.

Reminding himself that he was an agent, Pete gave him a toothy grin, “See ya around.”

Pete gasped when Comic Book Guy quickly slapped him against the arm before retreating back toward the dealer tables. “You can bet on it,” he promised.

Myka walked back toward Pete when he slid his fingers down the spot where the other man had slapped him. “It’s kind of oily.”

Myka examined his arm, “Are you okay?”

“I think so.”

“Let me know if you feel funny at all,” Myka said with concern in her voice.

“I promise,” Pete smiled and headed back to the dining room. 

When Myka saw him throw a third glance over his shoulder at the retreating conventioneer she asked, “Are you getting a vibe, Pete?”

“Uh,” Pete said hesitantly, “naw, probably not. I think I’m just a little pissed off still.”

Myka chuckled, “Ken doll.”

“Hey,” Pete said while holding up a warning finger, “let’s not start with the embarrassing nicknames part of our relationship, ‘kay?”


	4. Chapter Four

Once they reached the hallway, Artie slid his hand from Claudia’s waist and gave her some space. He had to admit to himself that he’d actually really enjoyed that moment back at the dealer’s table. A small smile played on his mouth as he thought about how Claudia had felt against him.

She broke into his reverie when she asked, “What’s with the t-shirt, Artie?”

He glanced down at his clothing and grimaced, “Some jerk spilled his grape slushy all over me.”

Claudia lightly ran her hand across the emblem on the front, “So you chose a Batman t-shirt?”

Artie shuddered deliciously at her touch and explained, “It was on the clearance table.”

“But isn’t it a little risky?”

“What?”

“Well,” Claudia reasoned, “wearing it might just give away your secret identity.”

“I’m so glad I rescued you, Claudia,” Artie sneered.

WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13

Claudia and Artie sat in the dining room of the convention center waiting for Pete, Myka, and their lunch. Artie read files while Claudia amused herself by people watching. Scanning the entrance, keeping an eye out for Pete and Myka, she was caught unawares by the intense gaze of Iguanaman. “Crap,” she whispered as the determined conventioneer stalked toward them followed by a small nerdy entourage.

“What?” Artie asked looking up from his files, “What’s the problem?”

Claudia turned toward him and slid her hand over his shoulders to thread her fingers through his curls. Then she buried her nose behind his ear and whispered, “Sorry, Artie, looks like you’ll have to put up with your personal bubble being popped again.”

“What?” Artie repeated and then stuttered as Claudia’s hot breath against his neck sent shivers down his spine. When he spotted Iguanaman, realization dawned in his eyes. But, Artie waited until the entire nerd herd was seated a few tables over before murmuring to Claudia that she was clear. 

“Too bad,” Claudia answered him, “I was enjoying myself; you smell good.”

Artie did his best impression of a fish, and was just about to ask her what that was supposed to mean, when Pete and Myka showed up. He turned his attention to his two agents, “So, uh, what did uh, what did you find?”

“Bupkis,” Pete answered him and picked up a menu.

“Not one of the dealers could tell us anything,” Myka whined slightly.

“So,” Artie cleared his throat and shifted in his seat still very aware of Claudia’s fingers idly playing with the curls at the base of his neck, “all rare or vintage toys?”

“Yup,” Pete said while trying to signal a waitress. “Man, I need a burger,” he groaned.

“And all are paid for in advance and a later date is set for pick up because…”

“Because they’re all special display items; the dealers use them to drum up business,” Claudia filled in and then took a long drink of her soda.

“But what do they have in common?” Pete asked.

Artie ticked off a list on his fingers, “A sword model for an animated movie, the first concept drawings for a robot…”

“Optimus Prime,” Pete corrected him and ignored Artie’s glare.

“The casting mold for the Apple Green Strip Teaser Hot Wheels,” Artie continued, “and a Barbie doll.”

“The Roman Holiday Barbie manufactured in 1959,” Myka clarified.

Artie spread his hands, “They don’t have anything in common.” He tried not to sigh with disappointment when Claudia’s lunch showed up and so she removed her hand from where it had been stroking his neck. He glanced at the two agents dumbfounded that they hadn’t said anything about Claudia’s behavior. ‘Must be low blood sugar,’ he thought as he watched Pete steal a large handful of Claudia’s fries and then held her back from jumping over the table and killing the younger man.

“Well,” Claudia said while waving a French fry in the air to help make her point, “Iguanaman could be right, ya know?”

“Iguanaman?” Myka asked with obvious confusion in her voice.

“Claudia speak,” Artie explained and then motioned for Claudia to continue.

“He said that maybe the thief was some kind of evil genius who was using a disguise to steal all the cool toys for himself.”

Myka’s eyes went wide, “Pete got a vibe off some guy.”

Pete elbowed her lightly, “What? No I didn’t; I told you he just annoyed me.”

“How?” Artie asked.

“He called me ‘Ken Doll’,” Pete explained, “and said I had a hair helmet.” 

Claudia guffawed and Myka patted her back to keep her from choking on a French fry.

Artie squinted, obviously annoyed, and shook his head, “No, no, no, how did you get the vibe; I mean what happened?”

“Well, the guy was hitting on Myka,” Pete began.

“Ooh, Myka,” Claudia said and touched the older woman’s shoulder while making a hissing sound, “hot stuff. So was he…?”

Myka shook her head and laughed, “Uh, no, huh-uh.” Claudia shrugged obviously disappointed.

“Anyway,” Pete continued over the chatter, “he was hitting on Myka, I let him know that wasn’t going to happen,” he squared his shoulders importantly.

“I’m the one who told him to bug off, Pete.”

“So,” Pete said as though he hadn’t been interrupted, “he walks by me and slaps me on the arm.” He held up the appendage for inspection, “it felt kind of oily at first.”

Artie leaned over, “Can’t see anything now. But, you need to tell us if…”

“If I feel funny, or smell fudge or whatever, yeah I know.”

 

WH13WH13WH13

After a full afternoon of keeping on the lookout for odd behavior, something that was honestly a bit difficult at a toy convention, Artie declared that they’d be staying the night. Claudia, who had a weakness for cheesy motels, inquired as to where they’d be staying.

“Most of the places are booked because of the convention,” he said nervously.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Artie,” Myka reassured him.

“It’s a little rundown but it uh, yeah, it should be fine,” Artie answered the younger agent.

“There are still a few events going on this evening; chances to spot our villain,” Pete reasoned as they started walking toward the display tables.”

“Make sure to keep your eyes open for anyone wearing black, green, and purple,” Claudia reminded them. Pete and Artie laughed and Myka just looked a little confused.

Suddenly Claudia was grabbed by the arm and pulled over toward a display booth. The guy who grabbed her was lucky that the younger woman wasn’t carrying any weapons at the time. He gave her a wide, toothy, grin as Claudia registered that it was a booth about the launch of a kids television show. “You look like an intelligent young person,” the toothy host commented into a small microphone he held.

“You don’t,” Claudia answered simply and tried to walk away.

“Ah, come one now,” the host reasoned stepping in front of Claudia so she couldn’t leave so easily, “all you have to do is answer a question and win yourself a prize.”

Claudia rolled her eyes and whispered, “Buzz off,” before renewing her attempts to escape before a larger crowd had gathered.

The host smiled again, “Are you telling me you don’t know where the Zagros Mountains are found?”

“Huh?” Claudia asked with a look that said ‘Who the Hell is this guy?’ and a pleading glance at Artie. The older agent looked just as confused as she was.

“The Zagros Mountains,” the host repeated.

Claudia opened her mouth to answer, still looking slightly confused, when Pete realized what television show the booth was advertising for. “You Can’t Do That On Television?” he whispered to himself and then threw his arms up yelling at Claudia to keep quiet.

Claudia glared at Pete and then answered the host, “I don’t know.” She was immediately drenched in green slime that seeped into her hair and slid down the front of her shirt, the back of her pants, and filled her shoes.  
+++++++++

“It’s Iran,” Artie murmured as he drove Claudia to their hotel.

“What?” growled a slimy Claudia from the passenger seat of the black SUV.

“The, uh, Zagros Mountains,” Artie explained, “they’re in Iran.”

Being able to convey, without uttering a single word, how completely unimportant that piece of trivia was with her eyes, Claudia continued to gaze out the window.

“At least we didn’t bring my car,” Artie complained as he shifted in his seat.

“Look,” Claudia said whirling on him suddenly, “you didn’t need to grab me back there; you could’ve stayed slime free.”

“You were threatening to rip his tongue out with your bare hands, Claudia,” Artie reminded her.

“Well I ripped something out,” Claudia said proudly displaying the host’s toupee.

Artie’s eyes went wide, “You’re going to have to give that back.”

“He gets his toupee as soon as I get my prize,” she stated simply.

They pulled up to their hotel and Artie grabbed several of the bags out of the car. When he saw Claudia merely standing by the car and staring in disbelief at the motel he walked over to her. “It’s just a name. Yes, it’s owned by a mother and son but I met the woman; she’s alive and very friendly.”

“The Bates Motel,” Claudia stated while retrieving the rest of the bags. “Could this day get any worse?”

“The shower in your room doesn’t work,” Artie said quickly and started walking to the room he’d be sharing with Pete. “You can use the one in my room,” he threw over his shoulder at a very defeated looking Claudia. She brightened quickly and followed him into the small room.


	5. Chapter Five

Upon entering the room, Claudia immediately tore off her slime-covered jacket and made to toss it onto the floor. Artie dove to catch the garment before it landed. “Hey, hey, hey,” he chastised, “I don't want that stuff to get all over the carpet. Just because this trip is being paid for by the federal government doesn't mean we have to purposefully rack up expenses.”

Claudia looked down at herself, “What am I going to do about this anyway? I can't pack these clothes back in my bag,” she whined slightly.

Artie rolled his eyes and pointed to the bathroom, “Get undressed in there and hand me the clothes; I can see if they've got a washer and dryer.”

Claudia smiled at him, “My knight in shining earth tones,” she sighed and quickly stepped into the bathroom. Claudia closed the door halfway and immediately started handing him articles of clothing.

Artie accepted Claudia's t-shirt, jeans, and socks without comment but when a purple bra and panties were tossed on top of the pile he blushed and stuttered, “Those weren't, uh, slimed, Claudia.”

“Yeah,” Claudia said peeking her head around the door, “but they smell like the stuff. Thanks, Artie,” she smiled and reached out with one bare arm to pat his cheek before shutting the door.

Artie stood stock still for a moment until the sound of the water being turned on broke his reverie. He looked down at Claudia's clothes and tried not to stare at the matching bra and panties. “What the hell is Mrs. Bates going to think of me?” he wondered aloud.

WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13

Artie stood outside the door to his room after having deposited the girls' bags in the room next door and taking care of Claudia's laundry. He hesitated to place his hand on the knob because he had spent the last twenty minutes thinking about the fact that Claudia was naked in his room, in the shower, all soapy and wet; he smacked himself hard on the forehead. “Get it together, Nielsen,” he ordered himself.

But, when he stepped in the door, he was greeted by Claudia who was wearing one of his dress shirts, and nothing else, and laying on his bed. She looked up from the Gideon Bible she was reading, “Hey, Artie. You took my bags and left me stranded here, completely naked except for the indecently small room towels the motel provides.”

Artie swallowed hard, “Uh...”

“So, I was forced to improvise,” she said cheerfully and fingered the collar of his shirt.

“I can get your, uh, bags,” Artie stuttered as Claudia stood up off the bed and stepped toward him.

“That would be nice of you,” she stated and stalked closer.

Artie pointed over his shoulder, “So, I'll just grab 'em.”

“Okay,” Claudia smiled and moved so that they were toe to toe.

“Going now,” Artie said and stared at the patch of skin exposed above the open buttons on Claudia's shirt.

“You know you've got slime in your hair?” Claudia asked and then moved to run her fingers through the small patch that had been hit with the green goop.

“Oh yeah?” Artie asked dreamily.

Claudia's mouth moved closer to his and she murmured, “You're usually such an observant guy; interpreter of the mysterious mysteries.”

“I am?” Artie asked and stared hard at Claudia's lips.

“Yeah,” Claudia stated, “but lately you've been kind of dense; it’s weird.”

“Me acting weird,” Artie said incredulously, “how about you? What's gotten into you lately, Claudia?”

“I'm just being my usual cheeky self,” she answered him.

“Little more cheeky than usual,” Artie observed. Slightly annoyed at her casual air he muttered, “Did some artifact attach itself to you or what?”

“Wanna search me?” Claudia asked while unbuttoning a button on her shirt.

Artie scowled as he watched Claudia pop open a further button, “Don't toy with me, Claudia.”

“Only if you asked really nice, Artie,” and then she moved toward him purposefully.

“Eh, eh, watch it, I don't want to get slime on my shirt,” he murmured motioning to his garment that Claudia still wore and back to his Batman t-shirt that was covered with dried remnants of the stuff.

Claudia smiled, “Easily solved,” and then stripped the shirt from her shoulders and tossed it on the bed. She resumed her earlier pursuit, wrapping her arms around Artie's neck and pulling him toward her. Brushing her lips softly across his mouth, she threaded her fingers through his curls. “I like you, Artie,” she murmured against his lips. “And, you know, it's working its way to the other “L” word that I'm not, you know, quite ready to say yet,” she nipped carefully at his bottom lip.

“I, uh, yeah, well,” Artie stuttered, “yeah, me too,” he finished dreamily as Claudia sucked on his earlobe.

Artie stood very still and took in the feelings of Claudia's naked form pressed against him, her lips softly brushing his own, and her fingers moving through his hair. When her tongue snaked out to lick at his bottom lip he moaned into the kiss and finally moved his hands so that they rested on her hips. Cautiously kissing her in return, not wanting to force anything, he traced soft patterns on her skin while Claudia began to thrust her tongue into his mouth. She gave a little sigh of pleasure and then broke the kiss and took a small step back. “What, uh,” Artie cleared his throat, “what now?”

“Well,” Claudia said while looking down at herself and the goo that had rubbed off from Artie's t-shirt, “now I need another shower.” She turned and walked into the bathroom leaving a dumbfounded Artie to track her naked form across the motel room. Claudia popped her head out of the door a moment later and asked, “Coming?”

He was startled into action and immediately toed off his shoes and socks, pulled the t-shirt over his head and dropped other articles of clothing on the way to the bathroom. Claudia had already turned the water on and he gazed through the steam to the open shower door where he could see her form outlined against the glass. Swallowing hard, and feeling self-conscious, he walked into the shower and shut the door behind him.

Claudia moved so that he could get under the water as she picked up the complimentary bottle of shampoo. “It’s Lavender Vanilla; that okay with you?”

Artie smiled, “I guess it’ll have to be.”

Claudia would have sworn that Artie purred as she rubbed the shampoo into his wet hair, massaging his scalp with the tips of her fingers. “I’ve gotta say, I love your ‘fro, Artie.”

He scowled while leaning back to rinse, “I don’t have an afro.”

“Nope,” she answered him, “it’s a Jewfro.”

Artie rolled his eyes at her adolescent lingo, “Whatever. So, am I clean?”

Claudia gave him a thorough once over, which made Artie, blush and once again feel more than a little self-conscious. “You look good to me,” she stated simply.

He smiled and pulled her into his arms, his lips sliding up her neck to her earlobe, “You look even better than good, Claudia,” he breathed. 

They moved so that Claudia's back rested against the tiles of the shower, the hot water pounding on them as they kissed. Claudia moved to wrap a leg around Artie’s waist and they moaned together as his hardness brushed against her curls. The contact made Artie’s hips jerk with reaction and he slid his hands down her back to rest on her ass so that he could thrust against her. 

Artie broke the kiss and leaned back, “I know that doing this in the shower seems like a good idea but,” he was cut off as his foot slipped slightly when Claudia attempted to move against him, “I’d rather not break a hip today.”

Claudia laughed and reached behind him to turn off the water. “How would we explain that to Mrs. Frederic?”

Artie smirked as he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel for himself and handed one to Claudia, “Probably not, uh, covered in the ‘workman’s comp’ part of my contract either.”

Claudia quickly dried off and tossed her towel over the drying rack. Grabbing a hold of the towel that Artie had wrapped around his waist, she dragged him into the bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed while Artie stood in front of her expectantly. Artie glanced at the bedside clock, “We’ve already been gone for almost an hour.”

“Yeah,” Claudia agreed while taking a look at the clock, “so this will have to be a quickie.” She grinned, “Don’t worry, you can make it up to me later,” and then she fell back on the bed, stretching seductively and waiting for Artie to join her.

Artie smiled back at her as he removed his towel and then flung it over a nearby chair, “Your persistence is often your most annoying trait, Claudia.” He knelt between her legs on the bed and leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her curls. “But I’m starting to develop a, uh, new appreciation for it.” He moved up her lithe frame, stroking her soft skin with his goatee and kissing a path up to her waiting lips.

Claudia sighed and arched her back, craving more skin-to-skin contact when Artie finally kissed her again. She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him and stroked the small of his back with light touches of her fingers. “You talk too much,” she stated and then flipped him over on his back; a move which Artie did little to resist.

Claudia's hands moved on Artie's stomach and chest and stroked his arms while she peppered kisses over every inch of his skin. Artie resigned himself to the torture as he lay back and moaned at her ministrations. When her hands finally wrapped themselves around his shaft and began to move experimentally he sat up slightly with a hiss of pleasure. “Claudia,” he began sounding slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah, Artie?” she smiled while she continued to stroke him and kiss his lower stomach.

Artie groaned as Claudia squeezed him deliciously, “I'm not gonna, uh, you know....oh, not gonna last long if you...” he flopped back on the bed and smiled through the misery of her touches.

Claudia grinned an extremely self-satisfied grin, “Okay, so we'll pencil in the extended toying for later,” and then she sat up so that she could straddle his waist.

“Thank you, Claudia,” Artie breathed and reached his hands up to stroke her arms and back.

Claudia steadied herself on Artie's chest and then lifted slightly so that he could reach between them and position himself at her entrance. His fingers dallied for a while as he stroked her softly with his fingertips. Claudia stuttered, “Oh, okay now who's toying?” and then she moaned low in her throat as she sat back down, taking Artie fully into her warmth.

Eyes fluttering slightly, both of them fought for control of physical reactions to their joining. Artie moved first, arching his back while his hands gripped Claudia's hips, “You feel so...,” he made an inarticulate noise in the back of his throat and then his eyes opened wide, “Don't uh, gimme a second, Claudia; hold still.”

Claudia chuckled happily and slid her hands along his chest and then back down his arms so that she could lace her fingers through his. “Just tell me when.”

Artie smiled up at her, “Okay,” he murmured, “you can uh...” he gasped loudly as Claudia raised herself up on her knees and began to move on him.

Claudia gripped Artie's hands tighter and practically hummed to herself at the wonderful sensations. She gasped with surprise when she locked gazes with Artie and saw the heated, possessive look in his eyes. She released his fingers and his hot hands trailed up her back and over her shoulders so that he could pull her to him. One hand slid to her lower back to encourage her continued movements while the other tangled in her hair and he used the leverage to bring her mouth to his for a passionate kiss.

Claudia moaned into Artie's mouth as his tongue made a studied exploration of her teeth and lips. When they both needed to come up for air, Artie moved her slightly forward so that he could trail his lips down her neck to her pert breasts. Claudia was forced to curl one hand around the headboard of the bed as Artie's upward thrusts became stronger and threatened to knock her forehead into the wall.

His lips moving back and forth from one breast to the other, biting softly and sucking her hard nipples, his hand moved from the small of her back and trailed down to her wet curls. Claudia gasped loudly as his fingers stroked through the hot folds of her flesh to find her hardened clit. She swore she could feel the calluses on his fingertips as he circled her lazily while his mouth continued to make love to her breasts. Claudia felt the familiar spiraling in the pit of her stomach and gasped, “Artie, I'm, do you want me to...” In answer, he sped up the movement of his fingers and stroked her in rhythm with his thrusting.

Claudia leaned against the headboard and bit her own hand to keep from screaming as she felt herself breaking apart under Artie's attentions. She gasped loudly, panting in the quiet of the hotel room as she felt Artie's mouth release her breast and then he encouraged her to sit back on his hips, which only slightly interrupted his thrusts. He smiled at the sight that Claudia presented, looking messed up and satiated and incredibly beautiful. “You're amazing,” he panted.

Claudia gasped for air, “Yeah, look who's talking,” and then she returned his smile before falling limply on top of him. A moment later Claudia whooped in surprise as Artie flipped her over on her back.

She stretched languidly as he placed kisses all over her torso and neck. Claudia lifted her legs so that she could wrap them tightly around Artie's waist as he continued to move in her. He stopped moving for a split second and then roared his release into her mouth as he kissed her hard. Then it was Artie's turn to go limp on top of Claudia although he caught himself on his elbows, “Don't want to crush you,” he mumbled against her neck.

Claudia laughed as she panted and said, “I guess that was a good enough prize to warrant giving back the game show guy's toupee.”

Artie chuckled as he rolled onto the bed and checked the time, “Yeah, he was just going to give you a t-shirt.”


	6. Chapter Six

Myka walked quickly down the hallway checking her convention schedule as she went. She and Pete had agreed to check out the tables with high profile toys and models as a means of trying to catch The Collector; a name Pete had bestowed on him. “Hey, it’s cooler sounding than ‘unsub’,” he’d reasoned. 

She still had several dealer tables to check on. “Seeing Darth Vader’s first helmet should be interesting,” she said to herself. Despite Pete’s suggestion that she knew nothing about pop culture, Myka would admit, if the confession was tortured out of her, to having a bit of a thing for the tall Dark Lord of the Syth. “There’s something about a bad guy,” she mused. “Capes are good too.” 

“Wow, I had no idea,” Pete teased, suddenly appearing at her elbow as though he’d stepped out of thin air.

Myka jumped and smacked him lightly on the shoulder, “Pete!”

“Didn’t know you startled so easily,” Pete grinned. “Of course, I also didn’t know about your villain fetish. If I had, I would have packed my Khan costume.” He leered at her and stepped closer so that they stood practically toe-to-toe.

Myka raised one eyebrow and laughed nervously, “Are you okay, Pete?” she asked. “You didn’t grab something to eat at the snack bar? Maybe you’re suffering from food poisoning,” she suggested as she laid her palm along his forehead to check for fever.

“The only poison I’m feeling,” he said lecherously, “is on the tip of the arrow you’ve shot into my heart you galactic goddess.”

Myka stepped away from him, “Now you’re just making me feel queasy,” she warned him as her hand strayed to her Tesla.

“It’s just nerves, Baby,” he assured her. “It’s natural to be a little weak at the knees when you’re in the presence of the man of your dreams.”

“Okay, now I know you’re either drugged or have stepped in an artifact,” Myka said with a concerned frown on her face.

Pete stepped toward her once again, “So you wanna play sick patient and overly helpful nurse?” he asked.

Just as Myka was putting aside her last reservations about shooting him full force with the Tesla, Claudia turned a corner to run straight into Pete. “Whoa, Petester,” Claudia apologized as she steadied herself against Pete’s shoulder. “Sorry ‘bout that, compadre I guess I’m just a little…” Claudia stopped mid-sentence when Pete turned and looked her full in the face. “Uh, hello, mystery guest; who the Hell are you?”

Pete’s eyes widened and he jumped back from Claudia before quickly slipping on a pair of goggles that were pulled from an inside pocket. Myka and Claudia swore simultaneously as Pete disappeared before their very eyes. Myka’s Tesla was snatched by an invisible force and thrown far down the hallway behind her. Claudia was only frozen in place momentarily before the slamming stairwell door made her bolt into action. “Claudia, no!” Myka yelled as she moved to pursue the younger woman who was already disappearing into the stairwell.

Just then, Artie came jogging around the corner to find a panicked Myka running after her thrown Tesla and making to pursue Claudia. “What’s uh, what’s going on?” he panted.

Myka retrieved her Tesla and was checking quickly to make sure if anything was broken, “Claudia went after Pete, well it wasn’t Pete, it’s The Collector.”

When Artie eyed her with confusion she spat, “The unsub he’s…” but she didn’t get the final bit of information out before Artie took off like a shot after Claudia.

“Faster than I thought he’d be,” Myka murmured while giving her Tesla a quick once over and then running after the older agent.

+++++++

Artie took the stairs as fast as he could and prayed to any deity who might be listening that it wouldn’t give him a heart attack. ‘If she’s hurt…’ he thought and then shook his head trying to remain focused. Rounding a landing, Artie heard a familiar tune issuing from under a door that lead to the fifth floor hallway, “Oh no,” he murmured and then peeked in the window to make sure there wasn’t immediate danger lurking for him as soon as he opened the door.

He glimpsed Claudia sitting Indian style in the middle of the hallway as she stared intently at something that sat in her lap. “Claudia,” he breathed quietly and glanced around to find that the hallway was completely empty except for the redhead. He opened the door and stood behind her quietly watching as she turned the crank of an ancient looking Jack-in-the-box. “You have a real talent for finding trouble, Claudia,” he murmured as the familiar tune played out to the last few notes.

“Pop goes the…,” Claudia sang quietly; and then she stopped.

Artie stepped around in front of her to see that Claudia’s gaze was completely transfixed on the ornately carved lid that would remain closed until the crank was moved one more half turn. He knew she wouldn’t be able to do it. The Jack-In-The-Box was another artifact designed by Claus in the 16th century; it had been created for a five-year-old German prince. The boy had been both delighted, and terrified, by it and the artifact continued to spread those feelings over 500 years later. Claudia would be unable to move, unable to end the song, as long as she remained enchanted by the device. 

Artie hunkered down on his knees in front of her and placed his hand over the top of her hand that rested on the crank. “Honey, it’ll only hurt for a moment,” he promised and then forced Claudia’s hand to move forwards a fraction of an inch.

Claudia screamed in terror, and it hurt Artie’s heart to see the fear that welled up in her eyes. But, as soon as the last note had sounded, it was gone and the young redhead catapulted herself into his arms. Myka found them there, hugging and rocking slightly in the hallway. When Artie spotted her, he motioned to the Jack-in-the-box and Myka immediately put on a pair of purple latex gloves and pulled a large collection bag from one of her inside pockets.

Artie patted Claudia’s back and soothed the few sobs that issued from her throat. He nodded to let Myka know that everything would be alright and then Claudia took a deep breath and shivered as she let it out. Myka noted with interest the familiar way that Claudia’s hands slid down Artie’s back as she disengaged the hug and sat back on her heels. 

Artie handed Claudia a handkerchief so that she could wipe the few tears from her eyes. “That was truly unpleasant,” she reported.

Artie smiled at her and laid a hand to the side of her face, “It’ll wear off,” he promised. “We need to find you some chocolate; it’ll help.”

Claudia grinned, “You always know the way to the Claudster’s heart, Artie.” He smiled softly at her and blushed slightly.

Myka cleared her throat, “So, uh, what the Hell was that?” she asked.

Claudia stood up, with Artie’s help, and dusted herself off, “That,” she pointed in the direction that Pete had gone, “was not Pete.”

“What happened to him?” Artie asked while taking his Farnsworth out of his pocket and opening it.

“He disappeared,” Claudia told him. “Just,” she snapped her fingers to signal the quickness of Pete’s departure.

“Did he have anything unusual with him?” Artie asked.

“Yeah, yes,” Myka stated, “he had some uh…” she motioned to her eyes.

“Goggles,” Claudia said helpfully. 

“Ah,” Artie breathed with understanding.

“But they were really old looking,” Myka amended.

Artie did a long face-wipe and sighed, “This guy is quite a collector,” he said with obvious annoyance in his voice.

“The Collector,” Myka corrected.

“Wha?” Artie and Claudia asked simultaneously.

“Nothing, nothing,” Myka said waving her comment away.

“He’s gotten his hands on several, uh, interesting toy artifacts,” he muttered. “I’m guessing the goggles belonged to Claude Raines; wore them in ‘The Invisible Man’ 1936.” 

“Cool,” Claudia said obviously impressed.

“I’m guessing that he’s able to take on other people’s forms because he’s got some of the original batch of Silly Putty too,” Artie frowned. “Before the recipe was toned down,” he explained, “the stuff could be used to copy absolutely anything.” 

“Like identities?” Myka asked.

“Exactly,” Artie confirmed.

“So who do we know to trust?” Claudia asked suspiciously.

Artie eyed the two younger women, “We don’t really; we just have to go by instinct.”

“Well,” Claudia said, “mine tells me we should check on Pete.”

++++++++++

After finding a dazed and confused Pete in a broom closet on the fifth floor, Artie declared that they should all get back to the motel and return to the convention in the morning. Myka argued that they shouldn’t leave until the case was closed. But, when she found out the convention masquerade ball would be held in the convention center that night, she stopped arguing. 

They picked up some burgers and fries on the way back to the motel, and then went over the events of the day and reread the case files. Everyone agreed things would improve with a new plan of attack the next morning and they settled down to watching bad television and eating their greasy burgers. Halfway through Ghostbusters 2, Artie stood up and stretched, “I’m needing a chocolate fix,” he announced. “Anybody else need something?”

As usual, Myka opted out but Pete asked for either a Payday or a Snickers, “Or both,” he conceded, “I wouldn’t want to push your generosity.”

Artie shook his head at the grinning Pete, “Claudia?” he asked as he locked eyes with the younger girl. Both agents seemed totally oblivious to the tension that practically crackled between them.

Claudia smiled sweetly, “I’m good,” she stated.

Artie dropped her a small wink before turning and walking out the door and towards the vending machines behind the motel office. 

A few moments after Artie left, Claudia gave an overly dramatic moan and said, “What was I thinking turning down chocolate?” before launching off the floor and running after Artie. Pete and Myka barely registered her comments; their eyes glued to the Statue of Liberty scene. 

Claudia caught up with Artie at the machines, and snuck up behind him, throwing her arms around his waist and nuzzling her nose in the back of his neck. Artie yipped with surprise but then leaned back slightly into Claudia’s embrace, “Thought you didn’t want anything.”

“I always want chocolate, Artie,” Claudia explained. “But what I really wanted was an excuse to be alone with you for a few minutes.

Artie chuckled as he fed singles into the machines, “I’m kind of done in for the night, Claudia,” he explained as she stroked his stomach and nibbled on his ear.

Claudia huffed, “Why does everything have to be about sex with you, Artie? Maybe I just want some companionship,” she grinned.

Artie tucked the candy bars in his pockets and turned to face Claudia, “So you just wanted some alone time, huh?” he asked while trailing his fingers up her exposed neck.

“Ye, yeah,” Claudia stuttered, “that’s all. I don’t, uh, I don’t need to jump you every time we’ve got the chance. I’m more mature than that.”

“That’s too bad,” Artie answered as he claimed her lips with a hungry kiss. 

Claudia immediately wrapped one leg around Artie’s waist and they both moaned as he gripped her blue jean covered ass and thrust against her. Her hands snuck up under Artie’s shirt to stroke the small patch of wiry hairs on his chest as her tongue snaked into his mouth. Artie bumped into the Coke machine as Claudia’s movements suddenly put him off balance and they laughed into the kiss.

The next moment, they both jumped as Pete’s whining voice carried from two doors down, “Artie, where’s the candy? I’m starving.”

Claudia groaned and disentangled herself, “So next week you’re taking me to some deserted island where we can be utterly alone, right?”

“Of course,” Artie stated and they both wandered back to the motel room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smut and they nab the bad guy.

Chapter 7

 

Claudia found herself awake around 3 a.m. She attempted to get back to sleep, but admitted defeat after thirty minutes of lying in the dark and listening to Myka’s soft breathing coming from the other bed. She’d pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt and headed outside. She knew that Artie had trouble sleeping too, so she paced back and forth in front of his and Pete’s room hoping to send out some shared insomniac vibe. She gave up after several passes and took to reading the notice board that was posted next to the office door.

“Is $200 a good price for a sump pump?” she asked quietly.

“Depends on how badly you need one,” Artie answered her. 

Claudia squeaked in fright and whipped around to smack him on the shoulder, “Don’t do that, Artie,” she whined slightly.

Artie chuckled, “Hey, hey, sorry I didn’t know you were so engrossed in your reading that you wouldn’t hear me.”

“You and Mrs. Frederic,” she huffed, “when do I get enrolled in the Agent Ninja Summer School? What are you doing up?” Claudia asked.

In answer Artie stepped back over to the door of his room and opened it. The ungodly racket that issued forth could only be the sound of Pete Latimer snoring.

Claudia’s mouth dropped open in shock, “Is that normal?” she asked.

Artie closed the door and waved away her question, “I’ve been a Warehouse agent for so long, I’ve lost all knowledge of the concept of ‘normal’,” he answered. “But, what are you doing up this early?”

“Can’t really sleep away from home,” Claudia admitted. “Probably something to do with being a foster kid.” 

Artie smiled softly and pulled her to him, kissing her forehead, “So what do you do when you can’t sleep.”

Artie swore he saw her blush despite the darkness of the parking lot, “Welll…,” Claudia began, “at home I’d just,” she cleared her throat, “if it weren’t for having Myka as a roommate, I’d you know, relax myself.” 

Artie smiled and pulled her closer, “Now you’re just purposefully being a tease,” he murmured in her ear.

“So, you wanna help a girl out?” Claudia asked cheekily.

“Pete isn’t that deeply asleep,” Artie informed her.

“Oh come on,” she reasoned you could ride a herd of elephants in accompanied by a Mariachi band and it wouldn’t wake him up.”

Artie stared at her in disbelief, “Are you actually suggesting that we, uh…”

Claudia laughed, “I may be kinky, but I’m not that kind of kinky.”

“Uh, good; I did live through the 60’s but, you know, I was working for the government so…”

Claudia smiled, “We could sit on the tailgate,” she suggested pointing at their SUV.

Artie looked around, “You want to, uh, outside?”

Claudia pulled him toward the car, “I said ‘sit’, Artie. Jeez, get your mind out of the gutter.”

“You’re the one who put it there in the first place,” he reminded her.

“Oh poor old guy being seduced by a hot, young, chick; cry me a river.” 

They sat together on the tailgate and gazed up at the stars. Claudia rested her head on Artie’s shoulder and buried her nose in the curls behind his ear. “You smell really good,” she confided.

Artie shivered at the way her warm breath brushed against his neck as she spoke. Slipping an arm around her and pulling her closer to him he murmured, “So do you.”

“Another thing we have in common,” Claudia sighed as she began to place small kisses along Artie’s neck.

Artie moaned quietly, “Claudia, we’re kind of out in the open here.”

“It’s early,” she reminded him and placed her hand on his thigh, “and no one is up,” she moved her hand higher, “well you are,” she laughed as Artie gasped when she cupped him through his pajama pants. 

“The tailgate isn’t that big,” he said as his hands moved underneath her t-shirt.

“The cargo area is wonderfully spacious,” Claudia responded as her hand slipped beneath Artie’s waistband.  
Artie stuttered with pleasure and moved his hand upward to cup Claudia’s warm breast. “Even you aren’t that flexible,” he said as he slid her t-shirt aside and sucked on the soft flesh of her exposed shoulder. 

“You haven’t tested the full rang of my flexibility, Artie,” Claudia informed him as her hand moved slowly on his hardened shaft.

Artie sighed with contentment, “That’ll have to wait for a much bigger space.”

“So how about just a little mutual relaxation?” Claudia asked as she pushed Artie onto his back.

He started to protest, but then saw the lascivious glint in Claudia’s eyes and, trusting the highly intelligent young woman, merely said, “I’m in your hands.” 

“Good boy,” Claudia stated lifting his t-shirt to kiss her way down his soft stomach as her hands pulled his pajama pants down.

Artie saw what she was up to and chuckled happily to himself as Claudia licked her lips. He tucked one hand behind his head so he could watch what she was doing and stroked softly through her hair with the other. “Hmmm, I keep expecting to wake up,” he admitted.

Claudia placed a light kiss on the head of his cock before taking him fully in her mouth. Artie threw back his head and gasped as she hummed “Dream a Little Dream” against his hardened flesh. He fought between being nervous about their location and being completely enraptured by Claudia’s ministrations. But, when she wrapped one hand around the base of his shaft and used the other to lightly tickle his thighs and balls, Artie forgot to worry. His fingers moved restlessly in Claudia’s hair and stroking whatever part of her he could reach while he moaned quietly.

Artie gave a brief jealous thought to Claudia’s decidedly practiced skills before all thoughts left his head as he felt familiar tingles starting at the tips of his toes. He tried to signal Claudia by tugging slightly on her hair but either she was ignoring him, didn’t notice, or didn’t care. Artie bit down hard on his fist in order to keep from bellowing as he felt the orgasm rip through him. He watched as Claudia swallowed him and then crawled back into his embrace. 

He was a little surprised when Claudia kissed him but didn’t object. “I haven’t…” he panted, “well, it’s been…” he laughed, “you’re amazing, Claudia.”

“It’s been said,” she grinned.

Feeling exposed, Artie pulled his pajama bottoms back up and got as tidy as he could. Straightening his undershirt, he asked, “So, what can I do for you?”

He chuckled when he saw Claudia blush, “Well, you know,” she said, “if you could, well if you’d want to, to uh…”

He slid his hands under her sweatshirt and cupped her breasts before kissing her, “I’d love to.”

Artie unbuttoned Claudia’s jeans and slid them slowly over her hips and down to her knees. Placing small kisses around her navel and above the waistband of her panties, he slid them down to join her jeans that were bunched, preventing her from moving. She squirmed, “Hey, Artie, I’m feeling a little trapped.”

Artie grinned up at her while he caressed and kissed her thighs, “Good.”

Claudia chuckled, “Oh, ho, ho; I knew there was a kinky old man hiding in that mild mannered exterior.” 

Brushing his thumbs over her thighs, Artie moved Claudia’s legs apart and leaned down to run his tongue through her wet folds. Claudia gasped with pleasure as Artie’s hands stroked her thighs and lower stomach while his mouth and tongue drove her closer and closer to the edge. 

She slid her hands down over her breasts and stomach until she could thread her fingers through Artie’s hair; enjoying the way his curls wrapped themselves around her digits. A small grin played on Claudia’s lips as Artie’s goatee tickled the sensitive skin around her sex. Her thighs began to tremble a bit; a combination of the feeling of confinement from her jeans and the way his lips and tongue were moving on her. 

Claudia could feel the spiraling warmth in the base of her stomach that signaled her climax and she tugged lightly on Artie’s hair and moaned. Just at that moment, Artie slid one thick digit inside her; Claudia arched her back and practically howled with pleasure. He couldn’t help but smile at the string of grateful profanity, which issued from her panting lips. 

Artie stayed where he was, resting his cheek on Claudia’s lower stomach and watching her pant and grin as she slowly recovered from the orgasm he had given her. Her mouth opened in a decidedly large yawn and Artie chuckled quietly. “Feeling relaxed now?” he asked as he moved back up Claudia’s slight frame.

She pulled up her jeans and zipped them quickly before hugging Artie to her, “Most definitely,” she yawned and snuggled against him.

Her breathing became quiet and regulated and Artie’s eyes widened in alarm, “Hey, uh, Claudia, you can’t fall asleep on me here in the back of the SUV; someone will notice.”

“Don’t care,” she murmured. 

Artie patted her on the shoulder; “Sorry, honey, but my back cannot take a night in the cargo bay of an SUV. Come on,” he squirmed his way out of the back and over the tailgate, offering Claudia his hand.

“Okay, okay,” she murmured obviously annoyed, “just point me to my room.”

Artie laughed and walked her back to the door of her motel room, “Night, Claudia,” he said quietly and kissed her forehead.

Claudia grinned sleepily, “Night, night.” Then, she disappeared into her room.

WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13 

Myka awoke to the sound of Claudia boisterously singing in the shower. Squinting to read the alarm clock, Myka ran her hands through her hair trying to clear the fog. Claudia’s singing turned to humming as soon as the water stopped. Myka could hear her bumping around in the bathroom and then Claudia emerged wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans while towel drying her hair.

“Since when did you become a morning person?” Myka asked groggily as she climbed out of bed.

“Can’t a girl just be happy about being alive?” Claudia asked innocently.

“If I didn’t know better,” Myka called out as she walked into the bathroom, “I’d swear you’d met someone.”

Claudia laughed and raised her voice to be heard over the noise of the shower, “What, true love is not to be found at toy conventions?” 

The only answer Claudia received to her question was gales of hysterical laughter.

“Well,” Claudia reasoned with herself as she brushed her hair, “some people are just pessimists.”

WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13

They arrived at the convention center early enough to be some of the first people in the dealer rooms. This being the final day of events, things were beginning to wind down. The die-hard fans were still around, while those who had only attended to witness the spectacle had packed it in and gone home.

Artie checked the events calendar and began giving out assignments. “I have a feeling,” he explained, “that our guy is here for one particular collectable; something big.”

Claudia had been watching a small group of Ferengi peruse some first edition Asimov novels. Her eyes wandered aimlessly around the room before spotting a display at the front; she hooted and pointed happily.

“Did you see something, girl?” Pete asked excitedly.

Claudia glared at him, “Yeah; that.” They followed her pointing finger to an advertisement for the final big event of the convention. “Seems like a pretty good prize to take home, ya think?”

Artie gave her an approving smile, “Especially if you’re able to disguise yourself as Toby Maguire.”

“They’re gonna give him a copy of Spider Man number one just because he was in some stupid movie?” Pete whined. “I’m a real life crime fighter.” 

Myka rolled her eyes and muttered, “Boys,” under her breath. She smiled apologetically when Artie shot her a glare. “So, uh, you figure he’ll hit Mr. Maguire with the Silly Putty during the autograph signing?” she asked while reading the details on the event poster.

“That would be a good chance,” Artie agreed.

“So, you and Pete can stake out the autograph signing while Claudia and I keep an eye on the rest of the convention in case we’ve guessed wrong.”

They agreed to stay in contact with the cell phones and meet at the final event, if not before. The group broke up and, as Pete and Myka walked away, Artie caught Claudia’s elbow and propelled her into a deserted hallway.

Claudia grinned and stepped close to Artie, “Just can’t keep your hands off me, huh?”

Artie shook his head, “No, uh, I mean yeah but,” he raised a hand dismissively while Claudia laughed. “I just wanted to tell you to be careful.”

Claudia wrapped her arms around Artie’s neck, “It’s not like this guy is dangerous, Artie; he hasn’t killed anybody, just stolen some toys.”

Artie became serious as he pulled her tightly to him, “He knows how to use artifacts, Claudia, and that makes him very dangerous.”

She dropped her joking tone as she ran her hands through Artie’s hair, arranging the curls around his forehead, “I promise I’ll be careful.”

“If anything ever happened to you…” Artie began and a pained expression crossed his face.

Claudia rested her hand on Artie’s chest directly above the scar left by MacPherson, “Believe me, I know the feeling.”

He saw tears begin to form in Claudia’s eyes and he moaned low in his throat, “What wonderful thing did I do in a past life to deserve you, hmm?” he asked and then kissed her softly.

When Claudia felt Artie’s tongue trace her bottom lip, she sighed and pulled him back into a darkened corner, “I was only halfway joking about a deserted island,” she murmured as Artie’s hands crept up underneath her t-shirt to explore the soft skin of her stomach.

“Do you really have a Princess Leia bikini?” he asked grinning lasciviously. 

Claudia laughed, “No, but I could probably find one in the dealer’s room”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Artie said as he tickled Claudia’s neck with his goatee, “I just might have a romantic, deserted island hidden somewhere in the Warehouse.” 

“Puttin’ the agent moves on me?” Claudia asked.

“Most definitely,” Artie assured her.

“So,” Claudia purred while sliding a hand down Artie’s chest, “gimme a preview.”

Artie chuckled and slid his hands down Claudia’s back to rest on her blue jean clad backside, “There is nothing I would like better,” he murmured as Claudia began to move her hips against him, “but, uh, first we have a case to finish.”

“Yes, sir,” Claudia said and then sauntered away toward the dealer’s rooms.

Iguanaman and his entourage came out of the elevator just in time to see Claudia straighten Artie’s shirt and wipe a smudge of lip-gloss off his upper lip. Then, Claudia stroked her hand down Artie’s arm affectionately and disappeared into the crowd of fans.

Iguanaman sighed loudly, ignoring the eye rolls his friends gave him, as he watched Claudia walk away, “That guy has got to be some kind of super hero in disguise,” he reasoned. 

WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13

The hours ticked by and there was still no sign of The Collector. Pete and Myka met up at the espresso cart in the lobby and discussed a further plan of action while continuing to closely monitor the autograph-signing table. 

“Maybe he’s on to us,” Myka suggested.

Pete shook his head, “I don’t know. I get an overly confident vibe off this guy; like he’s not afraid of being caught because he doesn’t think anyone is smart enough to catch him.”

“Maybe,” Myka reasoned, “but look over there. Mr. Maguire is surrounded by body guards and,” she pointed to the exits, “there’s extra security on this event. How does he plan on getting close enough to touch him? They’re not letting anyone take group photos, nobody’s handing him anything directly…” she raised her hand in defeat and sighed.

“Oh, oh,” Pete hooted while pointing at Myka, “room service.”

“You’re hungry?” Myka asked obviously confused.

Pete smiled wryly, “Nooo, but if The Collector was posing as a room service waiter…”

“He could get into the room and easily use the Silly Putty,” Myka finished for him.

“We’ll let Artie know once we’ve checked it out,” Pete stated as he started jogging to the elevator. Myka nodded in agreement and ran after him.

WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13

Artie and Claudia stood outside the doors to the main convention hall. Artie checked his watch, “The ceremony is supposed to start in a few minutes.”

“Autographs must still be going on,” Claudia reasoned as she scanned the hallway for the celebrity and his entourage.

“Pete and Myka didn’t see anything at the autograph table or we would have heard from them,” Artie said thoughtfully while chewing on his lower lip.

“Well, if he didn’t slap the Silly Putty during the autographs, when would he have?” She was interrupted by Artie’s cell phone ringing.

“Yeah?” he barked.  
“Artie,” Myka panted through the phone, “we just found Toby Maguire passed out in the closet of his hotel room.”

Artie heard Pete yell, “He won’t wake up.”

“That means the Silly Putty is still being used,” Artie spat. “The guy has to be around here somewhere.” He looked frantically around the corner and down the hallway and spotted a large crowd of people walking toward them. “Claudia,” he said as he hung up the phone and slipped it in his pocket, “heads up.”

Claudia spotted the crowd just then and looked to Artie for instruction. “Uh, so, I don’t have a Tesla,” she hissed.

Artie smiled and gave her a wink, “Don’t need one,” he said as his gaze fell on a display for the upcoming release of the Donkey Kong 30th Anniversary edition. He grabbed the oversized toy hammer from the display and tossed it to Claudia as he reached into his satchel and pulled out a Viewfinder.

Claudia gave him a confused look and Artie was reminded of their age difference. He sighed, “It cracks,” he explained and gestured as though he were hitting someone with the hammer, “it, the Silly Putty, it cracks when you hit it.”

Realization dawned in Claudia’s eyes and she lifted the hammer high above her head as the faux Toby Maguire appeared around the corner. Claudia gave the hammer a mighty swing and connected with faux Toby’s head. She laughed with surprise when his entire body was suffused with small cracks. Faux Toby gave her a surprised look just before the façade fell to the carpet and left The Collector standing before them.

“How did you…?” he howled just as Artie clicked the button of the Viewfinder. The Collector disappeared and Artie quickly placed the Viewfinder back in his satchel as Toby Maguire’s entourage continued passed them; assuming the celebrity had gone into the convention hall.

Artie produced a small dustpan and hand broom from his satchel and bent down to sweep up the bits of Silly Putty. “Well, look at you, Mary Poppins,” Claudia quipped. She retrieved a neutralizing bag from her back pocket and held it out to him so that he could deposit the shards. 

After Artie had placed the bag in his satchel, Claudia grabbed him by the collar and pulled him to her for a sound kiss. “You’re the one who’s amazing, Artie.”

Artie straightened his glasses and blushed slightly at the compliment, “It’s, uh, just you know,” he jiggled his satchel, “it’s just part of the job.” 

Claudia gave him a warm smile, “You can pretend to not know how fabulous you are, Artie,” she chided him, “but I have eyes. What are we going to do with him?”  
Artie stuffed the Viewfinder back in his satchel and shrugged his shoulders, “He knows too much about artifacts to let him go,” he explained, “we’ll have to let Mrs. Frederic deal with him.”

Claudia hissed as though in pain, “Eeew, so a fate worse than death.”

Artie smiled, “Hey, the same thing could have happened to you; have a little sympathy.”

Claudia waggled her eyebrows as she slipped her arm around Artie’s, “But I was just too cute to throw to the wolves right, Artie?”

He snorted, “Haven’t completely made my mind up yet.”

“Yeah, right,” Claudia said as she kissed him quickly on the mouth.

He smiled at her and turned around just in time for Pete and Myka to launch themselves at him, asking a million questions. A very sleepy looking Toby Maguire appeared behind the two agents a few moments later and they stepped aside so that he could stumble toward the convention hall. 

Claudia gave the confused celebrity a sympathetic smile and opened the door; “I think they’re waiting for you in there.” He nodded and walked, bleary eyed, into the room. 

WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13

While exiting the convention center, Claudia felt a hand touch her arm lightly. Iguanaman greeted her with a genuinely friendly smile, “Hope to see you next year, Red.”

“Uh,” Claudia hesitated, “don’t count on it.”

“Hey,” Iguanaman said, “just tell me one thing. What’s he got that I haven’t got?” He motioned with his head at Artie who was stalking toward them possessively.

Claudia grinned and wrapped herself around Artie’s arm, “He’s got the best toys,” she responded.

Iguanaman nodded, “I get it,” he said with congenial understanding.

THE END


End file.
